How did he make me know I matter?  I just remember him looking at me when he would answer my questions.

–A Vermont adult remembering a supportive adult from her own childhood.

2024 New Year’s Resolutions

1. Take lots of walks

2. Practice really listening to connect more with the youth in my life

At the Vermont Network we are passionate about advancing connectedness between adults and youth. Healthy youth-adult connections promote well-being in many ways, including protecting against sexual harm and dating violence.

Over the past few years I have had the incredible privilege of working with youth who are committed to helping adults do better at supporting the youth in our lives, including Vermont Network interns Alara Kohn and Sylvia Brownlow.  Alara and Sylvia wanted to strengthen the Vermont Network’s Askable Adult Campaign, and they had a vision for youth-created content for the campaign.

Together with our colleagues at Mosaic and Atria, we launched Reel Talk: An audio project supporting youth and adults to drop the small talk and do real talk.  Alara and Sylvia helped train a cohort of youth who headed out into their communities to host conversations with trusted adults.  Youth invited adults to share about an adult who let them know they mattered when they were young, and the youth also shared stories of their own. These lived experiences shine a light on how adults can do better at supporting the youth in our lives.

The result is five gorgeous stories that you can experience on the Vermont Network’s Instagram or Facebook, or our website.  These stories remind us what a difference adult support can make for youth, and point us toward the small-but-powerful pivots adults can make to do better at connecting.

I know you guys wouldn’t judge me.  I can cry in front of you guys and it will be ok.

–A youth from central Vermont reflecting on what she values about her parents’ support.

In reflecting on the experience, Sylvia noted “I’m taking with me a better understanding of the adults around me.  Not everyone walks around telling you their story, and I am glad I got to hear the stories of the adults in my life.  They have dealt with the same issues that youth deal with.”

“Youth also play an important part in adults’ lives and we also mean a lot to the adults we surround ourselves with,” Alara reflected.  “It’s hard to know someone’s life story and what they are going through.  A lot of people want to have these conversations.”

What do youth wish adults understood about how to be in relationship with them?  For Alara, it’s about balancing youth capacity and desire to be treated as equals without burdening them with unrealistic expectations.

“Sometimes I want to be treated like a kid and not have all these expectations that I can figure everything out on my own,” Alara explained.  “When I’m talking to teachers about heavy topics, I don’t want them to underestimate my capacity to hold those topics.  At the same time, adults sometimes have an expectation that I’m really mature and independent, while sometimes I still want and need help.”

“Listen,” advises Sylvia. “Just listen, and sometimes the only thing to say is, ‘Do you just want to vent or do you want advice?’ Then respect their boundaries and their answers.”

I’m setting an intention for 2024 to really listen.  This will take practice and commitment, but I’m going to stick with it.  I’m already noticing that really listening is as good for me as it is for the person I’m listening to, helping me to feel more present and grounded, and connecting me to the love and admiration I feel for the young people around me.

How will you deepen your supportive connections with the youth in your life?  Check out our audio stories and other great resources, set an intention, and let’s do this together!

Special thanks to our Reel Talk partners Llu Mulvaney Stanak who was our guide, helping us design the project, training us, and editing our audio to create beautiful audio stories; Teppi Zuppo who created the gorgeous illustrations; youth from Mosaic and Atria who hosted and recorded conversations with trusted adults, and the adults from these organizations who supported them.

Chani Waterhouse is the Director of Member Relations at the Vermont Network