Statewide Sexual
Violence Hotline

1-800-489-7273

Our 24 hour hotline can be dialed free from anywhere in Vermont and will connect you to your local service program. To find a domestic and sexual violence program in your area, click here.

What is it?

Sexual violence or Assault is any unwanted sexual attention or contact.

If you are forced, pressured, coerced, or manipulated into sexual activity that you do not want,

Even if you had sex with the person before,
Even if you know the person,
Even if you trusted the person,
Even if you didn't fight back,
Even if it happened a long time ago,
Even if you haven't told anyone -

It is not OK. Sex without your concent is rape.
It is illegal and it is wrong.

If you need immediate medical attention click here to learn about emergency medical examinations and find links to your local hospital.

What is Sexual Violence, Sexual Assault, or Sexual Abuse?

Sexual violence is any act where sex is used as a weapon; it may involve one or more persons forcing, pressuring, coercing, threatening or otherwise manipulating another person into sexual acts or activities against his or her will. It may involve unwanted sexual attention, sexual contact or sexual activity. It can take place anywhere.

Is it sexual violence or assault if we did not ‘have sex’?

Yes. Although rape or unwanted or forced intercourse are forms of sexual violence, they are not the only examples. Sexual assault can be anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or is done to you without your consent.

I was raped last night. What should I do?

Your local Network Program can provide you with resources available in your community. Call the 24 hour hotline at 1-800-489-7273 and ask for a Program in your county. Hotline calls are anonymous. Highly trained advocates can talk to you about your options or just be there to listen.

A Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) is also a resource for support and safety immediately following an assault. Specially trained nurses are skilled in the examination of sexual assault. A sexual assault examination typically involves checking for any injuries, some of which may not be obvious, and collecting evidence that can be used in legal proceedings if you wish to press charges.

SANEs can also provide immediate treatment against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases including HIV testing and prophylaxis. The examination is most accurate if performed within 72 hours of the assault.

A SANE may be available at your nearest hospital emergency room. If a SANE is not available, you have the right to request a care provider of your preferred gender.

I didn’t say “no”, does that mean I said it was OK?

No. Consent does not have to be verbal. There are many ways that you can let someone know that sexual attention is not wanted. Lack of consent may be indicated by pulling away or fighting against someone, for example. There are many ways to "say no".

There are also reasons why someone might not say "no" or fight back. Someone intoxicated or under the influence of drugs is not legally capable of giving consent. Someone who is scared of what might happen if they do say no also will not express their disinterest in sexual activity. Additionally, sometimes a person is coerced, pressured, or threatened into having sex. Under these and other similar conditions, a reasonable person cannot freely concent to sexual activity.

I’m not sure if what happened was a sexual assault

There is no definition that is inclusive of every act that is sexually abusive because sexual assault is personal – what may be consensual to you, may not be OK for someone else. What is uncomfortable to you, may feel OK to another. The bottom line is it is your body. You are the only one who can give consent. You know when something feels uncomfortable.

 Some examples are:

• Harassing someone in a sexual way at school, home or work
• Using sexual language to talk about someone in a way that makes them uncomfortable
• Touching, grabbing, or groping someone in a way that makes them uncomfortable
• Talking someone into doing sexual things that they don’t want to
• Forcing someone into having sex with someone else, or to perform sex acts on themselves
• Forcing someone to take sexual pictures or videos; or taking videos or pictures without the subject’s knowledge or consent
• Forcing someone to watch pornography or other sexual content
• Using physical force to get someone to engage in sexual activity (including oral sex, intercourse, or penetration of any kind)
• Using pressure or threats to get someone to engage in any kind of sexual activity
• Telling someone that if they don’t do something sexual, someone will hurt them or someone they love

What if I was drunk? Is it my fault?

No. Consent means that a capable person can make a decision based on adequate disclosures without coercion. Someone under the influence of drugs or alcohol is not ‘capable’ of making a clear decision because of the mental distortion and impairment that these substances induce.

Consent should not be assumed. If you have sex with a partner once, for example, it should not be assumed that you will engage in sexual activity again. If you dress ‘a certain way’ or flirt with another person, it does not automatically mean that you agree to sexual contact. It is the responsibility of the other party to ensure that there is consent before having sex or engaging in any kind of sexual intimacy.

I was sexually assaulted three years ago, shouldn’t I be ‘over it’?

No. Whether an act of sexual violence is a one-time event, such as sexual assault, or involves a pattern of behavior over a period of time, like stalking, it has an enormous impact on the lives and well-being of victims and our communities. The effects can last a lifetime.

Every person responds differently to trauma and loss, so there are many different reactions to sexual violence.  Sexual violence impacts a victim’s psychological, health, social, and economic well-being. Click here for more information on the impacts of sexual abuse.

Is there anything I can do if a sexual assault happened last year?

Yes. Just because an assault happened in the past does not mean that the effects of that assault are not still present. What you are feeling is normal. Everyone responds to trauma differently. Your local Network Program can help you find help, assess your legal options or just be there to talk.

I just want someone to talk to. How can I get help?

The Vermont Network Against Domestic and Sexual Violence is a statewide organization that offers support and services to victims of domestic and sexual violence. There is a Program in every county. To find the Program serving your area, click here.

Can I bring legal charges against someone who hurt me?

Yes. There are a number of legal actions that you can bring against a perpetrator of sexual assault. Network advocates can help guide you through the legal process. Click here to find a program in your area.