SAFETY DURING AN EXPLOSIVE INCIDENT
- If an argument is unavoidable, try to have it where you can most easily exit.
Try to stay away from bathroom, kitchen, bed-room or where weapons may be available.
- Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows or stairwell would be best.
- Have a packed bag ready & keep it at a relative or friend's home.
- Identify neighbors you can tell about the violence. Ask them to call the police if they hear a disturbance at your home.
- Choose a code word to use with your children, family, friends & neighbors when you need the police.
- Decide & plan for where you will go if you have to leave - even if you don't think right now that you'll need to.
- Use your own instincts & judgement. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what he wants to calm him. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.
- Always remember: YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE HIT OR THREATENED!
SAFETY WHEN PREPARING TO LEAVE
- Open a savings account &/or credit card in your own name to establish or increase your independence.
Think of other ways you can increase your independence.
- Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents,
extra medicines & clothes with someone you trust so you can leave quickly.
- Keep the number of your local domestic violence program close at hand &
keep some change or a calling card on you at all time for emergency phone calls.
- Review your safety plan as often as possible to plan the safest way to leave.
REMEMBER: LEAVING CAN BE THE MOST DANGEROUS TIME.
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SAFETY IN YOUR OWN HOME
- Change the locks on your doors as soon as possible. Buy additional locks & safety devices to secure your windows.
- Discuss a safety plan with your children for when you are not with them.
- Tell your children's school, daycare, etc., who is allowed to pick up the children.
- Tell neighbors & landlord that your partner no longer lives with you & that
they should call the police if they see him near your home.
SAFETY WITH AN ABUSE ORDER
- Keep your order on you at all times. (When you change your purse,
that should be the first thing that goes in it.) Give a copy to a trusted neighbor or relative.
- Call police if the abuser breaks the order.
- Think of alternative ways to stay safe if the police cannot come right away.
- Tell family, friends, neighbors & health care providers that you have an abuse order in effect.
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SAFETY ON THE JOB & IN PUBLIC
- Choose who at work you will tell about the violence. Include office/building security.
Provide a picture of your abuser.
- Arrange to have an answering machine, caller ID or trusted friend or relative
screen your calls if possible.
- Devise a safety plan for leaving work. Have someone escort you to transportation
& wait with you until you leave. If possible, use a variety of routes to go home.
Think about what to do if something happens while you're going home.
YOUR SAFETY & EMOTIONAL HEALTH
- If you're thinking about returning to the abuser, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust.
- If you have to communicate with your abuser, choose the safest way to do so.
- Have positive thoughts about yourself & be clear with others about your needs.
Read books, articles & poems to help you feel stronger.
- Decide who you can talk to freely & openly to give you the support you need.
- Attend a woman's or victim's support group for at least a few weeks to gain
support from others & learn more about yourself & the relationship.
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