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While the term "abuse" is generally used to denote emotional, physical and/or sexual violence, these are merely the tactics abusers use to gain and maintain control over others. Control is the true essence of domestic violence, which is defined as: "a pattern of assaultive and coercive behaviors, designed to dominate and control another person so the abuser gets his own way." |
The chart is arranged in three columns to emphasize the facts that there is more to abuse than simply physical battering, and that the debilitating stress reactions listed in column 3 are suffered by abuse victims during the abusive relationship as well as afterwards.
When most people think of domestic violence, they think of the physically assaultive tactics shown in column 2. But physical assault is only one part of the dynamic of domestic violence.
Although domestic violence means only physical violence to most people, actually, the abuser begins the process of victimization with the tactics of emotional violence listed in the first column, laying the foundation for later physical abuse. Despite the pain and horror of physical abuse, many victims say that constant verbal humiliation is the worst kind of abuse. Verbal humiliation may well be the batterer's most powerful coercive technique.
The physical and psychological reactions to the unremitting stress under which the victim lives are listed in column 3. The victim experiences these reactions both during as well as after the violent relationship. Because most people associate physical abuse, or battering, with domestic violence, they assume that once the victim is no longer being regularly assaulted, she is all right and the abuse is over. To the contrary, however, for many survivors, these Stress Reactions become lifetime physical and psychological challenges. These reactions explain many of the things abuse victims do which frustrate and anger people seeking to help them, from remaining with abusers through "refusing" to prosecute.
It is important to recognize that abuse victims suffer from these reactions while living with their abusers because they must overcome them in order to escape.
Being an abuse victim permanently changes how the survivor looks at and feels
about herself, the opposite sex and the world.
Jeri Martinez, March 1999
RECURRENT EMOTIONAL ABUSETreat like a child or servant
Accuse of mental illness
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PHYSICAL ABUSEInitial AssaultsThreats of violence ModerateBite, twist arms or legs SevereStrangle, smother Sexual abuse:
Drag by auto |
STRESS REACTIONS TO ABUSEFeelings of:
Alcoholism Depression:
Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome:
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